There! Right There!

There! Right There!
看那儿，对就是那儿！
Look at that tan, that tinted skin.
看那晒到黄褐色恰到好处的皮肤
Look at the killer shape he's in.
看那辣死人不偿命的结实线条
Look at that slightly stubbly chin.
看那精心刮过胡茬的下巴
Oh Please he's gay, totally gay.
哦天他是基佬，绝对是
I'm not about to celebrate.
我可没准备去庆祝
Every trait could indicate the totally straight expatriate.
所有特征都暗示着他是个标准异性恋侨民
This guy's not gay, I say not gay.
那家伙不是基佬，我说不是
That is the elephant in the room
这是个被忽视的严重事实
Well is it relevant to assume
就这么假设
that a man who wears perfume
一个喷香水的男人
is automatically radically fey?
自动地彻底地与基挂钩可以吗？
But look at his coiffed and crispy locks.
但你看他那梳得油光水滑一丝不苟的头发
Look at his silk translucent socks.
看他那光滑的半透明丝袜
There's the eternal paradox.
这可是个永恒终极悖论！
Look what we're seeing.
瞧，我们看到了什么
What are we seeing?
我们在看什么？
Is he gay?
他是同性恋吗？
Of course he's gay.
他绝对是！
Or European?
还是欧洲人？
ohhhhhh
哦哦哦……
Gay or European?
基佬还是欧洲人？
It's hard to guarantee
这还真是难以担保……
Is he gay or European?
他是基佬还是欧洲人？
Well, hey don't look at me.
哎看我干嘛啊？
You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports.
你知道在那迷人的异邦 男孩子们可是以不同的方式被抚养
They play peculiar sports.
他们玩着古怪的运动
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts.
还穿着亮闪闪的衬衫和超级小热裤
Gay or foreign fella?
基佬还是异邦人？
The answer could take weeks.
答案恐怕得耗上数周揭晓
They will say things like "ciao bella"
他们会一边说着“再见了，美人(意大利语)”
while they kiss you on both cheeks.
一边亲吻着你的双颊
Oh please.
哦拜托
Gay or European?
基佬还是欧洲人？
So many shades of gray.
真是扑朔迷离
Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.
取决于一天的时辰，法国人就亦弯亦直
Is he gay or European?
他是基佬还是欧洲人？
or
或者……
There! Right There!
那儿！给我看好了！
Look at that condescending smirk.
看他那虚情假意屈尊纡贵的笑
Seen it on every guy at work.
上班族哪个不是这个样
That is a metro hetero jerk.
不过就是个异性恋都市佬
That guy's not gay, I say no way.
那家伙不是同性恋，我说绝对不会是！
That is the elephant in the room.
这是个被忽视的大问题
Well is it relevant to presume
你怎么去推证
that a hottie in that costume
那个披着完好伪装辣透了的家伙——
Is automatically-radically
就自然地彻底地
Ironically chronically
讽刺地长期地
Certainly pertinently
无疑地中肯地
Genetically medically
基因地医学地——
GAY!
是基！佬！吗！
OFFICIALLY GAY
完全彻底地基——
OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY
基基基基——？！
DAMNIT!
该死！
Gay or European?
基佬还是欧洲人？
So stylish and relaxed.
如此有型又闲适
Is he gay or European?
他到底是基佬还是欧洲人？
I think his chest is waxed
我觉得他用蜡去过胸毛呢
But they bring their boys up different there.
但你知道欧洲人养男孩方式和咱不一样的
It's culturally diverse.
从文化上就泾渭分明
It's not a fashion curse.
这应该不是一种时尚诅咒
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse.
那如果他穿苏格兰小短裙或拎个小坤包还情有可原
Gay or just exotic?
到底是基，还是只是异国风情？
I still can't crack the code.
我还是破解不了啊！
Yet his accent is hypnotic
他的迷人口音也许还能瞒天过海
but his shoes are pointy toed.
但他的尖头鞋完全暴露了！
Huh.
哈！
Gay or European?
基佬还是欧洲人？
So many shades of gray.
这真是模棱两可
But if he turns out straight I'm free at eight on Saturday.
但若他真是直男，老娘周六八点有空
Is he gay or European?
基佬还是欧洲人
gay or European?
基佬还是欧洲人
Gay or Euro-
基佬还是欧——
Wait a minute!
且慢！
Give me a chance to crack this guy.
给我个机会让我揭穿这个家伙！
I have an idea I'd like to try.
我有个办法可以试试
The floor is yours.
那就看你的啦！
So Mr. Argitacos...
那么，Argitacos先生，
This alleged affair with Ms. Windam has been going on for?
您和Windam小姐这段所谓的婚外情已经持续了多久？
2 years.
两年。
And your first name again is...?
那先生，您的大名是？
Mikos.
是Mikos。
And your boyfriend's name is...?
那你男朋友的名字是…？
Carlos.
是Carlos【Charles的西班牙变体】。
I'm sorry! I misunderstand. You say boyfriend.
等等不好意思？我听错了！你说男盆友？！
I thought you say best friend. Carlos is my best friend
.我以为你说挚友，Carlos是我的挚友！挚友！！
You bastard!
你个浑蛋！
You lying bastard!
你个撒谎的混蛋！！
That's it.
到此为止了！
I no cover for you, no more!
我再也不帮你这家伙瞒着了！再也不了！
Peoples
大家！！
I have a big announcement.
我有个大事要宣布！
This man is Gay and European!
这家伙，既是基佬！又是欧洲人！
and neither is disgrace
而这也不是耻辱
You've got to stop your being
我说你现在
a completely closet case.
必须结束这深柜状态！
It's me,not her he's seeing.
跟他谈恋爱的是我，不是她
No matter what he say
不管这家伙说什么，
I swear he never ever ever swing the other way.
我发誓他从来没对女人感过性趣！
You are so gay.
你是这么基
You big parfait!
百分百纯天然基
You flaming boy band cabaret.
你个浪出火的大！咚！佬！
I'm straight!
我是直的！直的！
You were not yesterday.
你昨晚可不是啊，先生。
So if I may, I'm proud to say,
所以恕我直言，我要骄傲地宣布
He's gay!
他是基佬！
And European!
并且也是欧洲人！
He's gay!
他是基佬
And European!
也是欧洲人！
He's gay!
他是基佬
And European and Gay!
是欧洲人也是基佬！
Fine okay I'm gay!
好吧我承认我是基！！
Hooray!
万岁！！